There is a small but highly important event poster addendum that has the uncanny ability to cause the emotional switch from elation to dismay: ‘(insert popular band/famous name)’ (DJ Set). We unravel the murky world of the celebrity DJ


It is somewhat of a bittersweet surprise to music-lovers when they are told that their favourite group is performing at a venue near them, only to discover, almost immediately, that it is only one member of the band – usually the drummer (no offence, Adam Ficek – Babyshambles) – and they will be armed not with a mic or guitar, rather a laptop or CD pouch. Indeed, even the parentheses surrounding the words reveal a certain shame which humbly confesses: “we couldn’t afford the full band”, yet people still flock in their hundreds, often thousands for a glimpse.

Celebri-DJs

As far back as 2006, Madonna wowed club-goers in New York by ‘performing’ a DJ set to hundreds of adoring fans. Other famous folk who went on to grace the decks in that time include Peter Hook (New Order) and even the ModFather himself, Paul Weller.And it’s now more fashionable than Blue Steel, asliterally hundreds of bands/musicians have followed suit,including Bloc Party, Moby, The Doves, The Stereo MCs(no wonder they haven’t gigged as a band for so long), The Fratellis, Franz Ferdinand, The Kaiser Chiefs and evenSophie Ellis-Bextor – although having heard her ‘sing’ live, perhaps a DJ set is the right move for her.So why do they do it? Surely their creative talents lie elsewhere, so why open themselves to criticism byswitching idiom? Yeah Yeah Yeah’s guitarist Nick Zinner once said: “Being on the road can be monotonous, so that gives you something to do with yourself other than indulging in mountains of drugs and hookers,” he jokes. “I used to play Yeah Yeah Yeah songs and demos all the time in bars before we were signed, to see if anyone reacted or to get people to come to our shows,” says Zinner. “Now I think it’s totally gauche for people in bands to DJ their own music. It’s worse than wearing your own band T-shirt on the L train.”

Cultural Compromise

Some have argued that listening to a musician playing songs by their favourite contemporaries is the equivalent of watching Vincent van Gogh painting exact replicas of the works of Jean-Franзois Millet or Leonard Cohen handwriting the entire works of Byron. Cynical? Yes. Irrelevant? Probably, yes. Nevertheless, there is much to be said of the pointlessness of it all; after-all, what is a DJ if not a performer of other people’s music? Indeed, some are infinitely more creative and technically adept at doing it, but we only have to look back to the ‘selectas’ of the West Indies to discover that dance-floors around the world are crammed-full of people dancing to music that they probably already own.


Hero-worship

The quest to learn more about the musical tastes and influences of our most revered heroes is one with which we’re quite familiar. Desert Island Discs – aired on BBC Radio 4 since 1942 – invites personalities of all backgrounds to play and talk about their eight favourite pieces of music and is considered to be the longest running show in radio history, the popularity of which is testimony to our love of not just music, but the musical tastes of our favourite celebs.On a more contemporary note (pun intended), Mary Anne Hobbs’ Experimental Show (formerly the Breezeblock) often invited guest musicians to perform DJ-style sets comprising music from their favourite artists. Celebrated contributors have included Spiritualized, Jon Carter and even Radiohead, whose set included a bizarre transition from slow jazz (Louis Armstrong) into banging techno.


The imposters

So, as we listen in awe at the influences that clearly map Radiohead’s musical development over the years, we are left wondering at which point are we supposed to be the slightest bit interested in the musical tastes of Lindsay Lohan or (*shudder*) Peaches Geldof. What exactly are we supposed to be looking for at these gigs? It seems as though the only justification for going is the slim chance that someone as musically retarded as Paris Hilton might punch someone. And then you get the out and out fakers. Peter Hook was famously caught out in Croatia miming to a pre-mixed CD that came free with Mixmag. The 10 minute video footage is car-crash viewing, and we can’t decide which is the more heinous crime: his utter belief that he’s genuinely doing something creative, or is it his Dad-in-a-blender dancing? Closer to home, Andy Rourke from indie-legends The Smiths has made several appearances in Dubai, the last of which surely marked a nadir in his career. DJing exclusively off iTunes (a new low, we fear), he still managed to mess up the mix, failing to properly fade in and out one track from the other. And let’s not forget Razorlight’s ‘Dj set’ - one so horrific and soporific that we had to include ironic quotation marks. So why does it still happen? Cashing in on your Daddy or band’s name? For shame.

Money money money

In a world filled with small-to-medium sized dancefloors, we understand that financial constraints play a large part in booking policy; a 500-capacity venue cannot afford Bloc Party, so they book the next best thing: one quarter of Bloc Party and their highly marketable band name (in brackets, naturally). One quarter of the band equates to one quarter (at the very most) of the total event costs - and when you factor in the flight, hotel and three day holiday costs involved in live gigs in Dubai, it makes even more sense. So we appreciate that class acts like ?uestlove fly out to play DJ sets in between The Roots’ live gigs; we accept that Peter Hook doesn’t have a band any more, so he takes to the dance-floors to satisfy his live-performance itch (Pete has since vowed to never fake his sets again - his beat-errant sets are testament to that), and occasionally turn a blind eye to lesser-talented, non-royalty-earning band members their right to a small share of the pie. But we draw the line in the sand at tired, one-trick pony celebrity DJ bookings (yes, Matthew Horne, from Gavin and Stacey/Kele from Bloc Party, we’re looking at you), and we’ve had enough of run of the mill, my Dad was famous/I’m in an an indie landfill band/I once met Amy Winehouse DJs to last a lifetime.

Words by Mike Ross